Where I hide

This is where I go when everything seems to be not working in a way I want them. This is where I go when I feel the world has turn its back on me. It is so amazing how much surviving for life sometimes could change people. I wish I know better than being affected by how unfeeling people can get sometimes. I know there is so much that I can offer. I know I've got so much to share to the world. Yet there are times when insecurities get the better of me. But I want to fight it off. These days seems to be a plateau stage for me, as far as my growth as a person is concerned. Something seems to be pulling me back from sprinting. There is so much out there, waiting for me to conquer, to experience. In fact I can't wait to touch them already. But why does it become too unreachable each time. But I am writing to keep myself from giving up. I am writing to cheer myself on. I am writing to make myself feel less alone. Right now I just feel so misunderstood by the world, so misjudged. I want to be happy. I am happy. There is so much to be happy about. There is so much to celebrate about. But my life as a counselor to almost everyone in my circle sometimes gets the better of me. I guess I am just overwhelmed with negative energies these days. I have to shake it off and be in control. At the end of the day, there is nothing that I can take any blame for my misfortunes, or my bruises, or my loneliness but myself. I am in control.