am i worthy at all

Am I worthy at all in making a reflection about this Gospel reading? Am I even worthy of sharing it to the public? I feel so little, so tiny, so dirty. I feel I would be such a hypocrite if I even try to say something about it according to what the gospel really means. I am so sorry Lord. I am tiny and insignificant. Who am I? Yet I know that I cannot go back to where I will feel "cleaner" anymore. People will perceive me to be clean, but deep inside I feel like I am a corpse rotting and smelly. That is how I feel Lord. Forgive me. I have nothing to be proud of. Clearly I have screwed up my life. Clearly my decisions were stupid. I got lost along the way. But right from the very beginning, you know how it was. You've seen it, Lord. You've seen him. You've seen us. you know the real situation. Long before everything became obvious, you have seen it already. There was nothing for me to hold on to. I was alone most of the time, neglected. Then again I know that these are not justifications for screwing up. I know I have sinned. Have mercy and forgive me Lord. Please be with him. Please send him someone who will take care of him and make him happy. All I want is for him to be happy. All I want is for him to get over everything and move on. Have mercy on me, Lord. Please let me go already.

Reading 1, James 5:9-12

9 Do not make complaints against one another, brothers, so as not to be brought to judgement yourselves; the Judge is already to be seen waiting at the gates.

10 For your example, brothers, in patiently putting up with persecution, take the prophets who spoke in the Lord's name;

11 remember it is those who had perseverance that we say are the blessed ones. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and understood the Lord's purpose, realising that the Lord is kind and compassionate.

12 Above all, my brothers, do not swear by heaven or by the earth or use any oaths at all. If you mean 'yes', you must say 'yes'; if you mean 'no', say 'no'. Otherwise you make yourselves liable to judgement.

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Responsorial Psalm, Psalms 103:1-2, 3-4, 8-9, 11-12

1 [Of David] Bless Yahweh, my soul, from the depths of my being, his holy name;

2 bless Yahweh, my soul, never forget all his acts of kindness.

3 He forgives all your offences, cures all your diseases,

4 he redeems your life from the abyss, crowns you with faithful love and tenderness;

8 Yahweh is tenderness and pity, slow to anger and rich in faithful love;

9 his indignation does not last for ever, nor his resentment remain for all time;

11 As the height of heaven above earth, so strong is his faithful love for those who fear him.

12 As the distance of east from west, so far from us does he put our faults.

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Gospel, Mark 10:1-12

1 After leaving there, he came into the territory of Judaea and Transjordan. And again crowds gathered round him, and again he taught them, as his custom was.

2 Some Pharisees approached him and asked, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?' They were putting him to the test.

3 He answered them, 'What did Moses command you?'

4 They replied, 'Moses allowed us to draw up a writ of dismissal in cases of divorce.'

5 Then Jesus said to them, 'It was because you were so hard hearted that he wrote this commandment for you.

6 But from the beginning of creation he made them male and female.

7 This is why a man leaves his father and mother,

8 and the two become one flesh. They are no longer two, therefore, but one flesh.

9 So then, what God has united, human beings must not divide.'

10 Back in the house the disciples questioned him again about this,

11 and he said to them, 'Whoever divorces his wife and marries another is guilty of adultery against her.

¹² And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another she is guilty of adultery too.'