I trust in you Lord

I praise and thank you Lord for this great week that you have blessed us with. I praise and thank you for our safety, for providing for everything that we need. I praise and thank you for sustaining us with you Love all throughout. Thank you for being our Father taking care of us. Thank you gid Lord sa grasya, for this opportunity to earn kag mag extra income. Thank you for using me and my talent in blessing others. Be with me in this endeavor. Without you Lord, I can never do this. I offer this to you, ikaw na bahala mag gamit sang akon utok to the fullest. Use me Lord. Basta ready gid ko nga gamiton mo. I surrender this week to you, indi gid ko mag worry. Ma kapyot gid ko sa imo. Thank you na lang gid nga daan for this great week ahead. Thank you for the blessing, for the financial freedom, for taking care of our worries. Thank you for helping me pay our bills, kag ang ila bills ni mamang. Thank you for sustaining me with your strength. Thank you for being so patient with me. Excited na ko Lord for this week, nga makita ko ang imo glory, nga ma experience ko kng ano ka ka buhi nga klase Diyos. I will be here Lord, ready to embrace this life. I praise you and I thank you for choosing me. Use me to bless others.

Farewell my little rose

Lord I offer him to you today, please bless him and take care of him. Please be with him and reveal yourself to him. Now that I have made my decision of finally moving on and turning a page in my life, I am even more heartbroken. This is final. This is it. No turning back. There is no chance of rebuilding the life I tried building with him. Well, I built it alone. On my own. He was always a little boy, dependent on me and what I can do for him. It was a life I hoped would work. I built dreams with him and he had his own dreams. We couldn't work it out. Thank you for not judging us for our wrong choices, for our mistakes. I honestly thought it could work. I honestly hoped he was the one. I knew so little. I understood so little about life. I haven't seen enough and experienced enough.  I wish I didn't hurry. I wish I was more patient. I wish I was a little sad as a girl.  I wish I didn't have to depend my loneliness on anyone, especially not him who was obviously not meant for me. We weren't fit for each other. He wanted so much while I wanted less. I wanted only him and our family. But he wanted more. He was looking out the fence and was forever wanting so much more. Please be with him. I just want him to be happy Lord. Please make him happy. I just want him to be okay. Makaya ko tanan e bear, padakuon ang bata namon, e make sure he will be fine if not completely happy. Just please take care of him na lang kay mas kinanglan nya na. Right now I am making this step. Because I want something new to happen in my life. It's been so long living in the dark, waiting for things to happen. Right now I will cause things to happen. Please Lord be with me. I do not want to make just another mistake.

Be with me Lord, in this time when I am trying to make a major decision. I cannot do this alone. I cannot to anything right without you. Please be with me I want you here by my side. Thank you for your love and affection.Thank you for your messages. Thank you for being so close, for staying so close. This is the first time I am ever doing something for myself, and trying not to think about others. All my life I thought deciding not to think about others is a sin. That thinking about myself is selfishness. That I should always have to forget about myself and offer myself for others. I don't know Lord. I am 38 now. I have to do something about my life. I want to be brave. I want to keep going and not be fazed with anything. I want to keep going and not stop.

Sometimes I get scared will I still be  capable of falling in love? Or staying in love? Or maybe I am just too preoccupied with being always in control. There are times when I catch myself getting confused in between moments when I get crazy in love, or too happy or too excited. I tend to settle down momentarily and try to feel myself. These things are strange. Only the brave get through to my mind most of the time. And yet I have encouraged some of them in my life where riddles rain in mid-summer. And these braves have chosen to stay away not for fear of me but I guess they get weary trying. There are times, when I too, get tired of myself. Why do I have to understand everything all the time? This isn’t actually a question but a futile attempt to bring sense to my jaded cerebral condition.  Maybe they’re right. Maybe I am not normal. Maybe there is a condition waiting to be diagnosed. I would love to be diagnosed. I would love to be understood. I would like it so much also that I will be able to understand myself.  I heard someone say, “Getting to know our self is a lifetime process.” I was comforted by that, it means somehow I am normal. Just not everyone is aware of every detail  in their journey. There are obstacles, there are fears, there are inhibitions whether to go ahead, rest for a while or just stop completely. I do not like the idea of any of these. I’d like more to think that in every journey it isn’t important whether one decides to stop, rest, or go ahead. What is important is everything in the process is being celebrated. Maybe that is what I will try to do. Celebrate everything that comes my way be it ordinary or otherwise. I don’t know. I still do not really know. All I know is I have to keep going. I don’t want to stay in this present darkness.

No prayer is too small for our Lord to handle.

There you have it, Lord. Ikaw na bahala. You said naga ka subo ka kon wala ko ga salig sa imo. Please this time help me out. Ari lang ko di. Lantawa lang ko. Makita mo man ko. Please help me out and not let me be devoured by the enemy. It is there waiting to happen, the success, the overflowing of blessings that you have promised. All I need is to be ready to receive it. Lord, ready na gid ko ya now. What else would I be but be ready for it. You have given me no choice, but to believe. You said I didn't choose you, but it was you who chose me. You chose me, Lord. Ari na ko di. I will wait for you. Please hear my prayer. Have mercy and forgive, me a sinner. Wala man ko sang may ipa bugal sa imo. Ano man lang ko man compared to your greatness. What am I, nothing but a sinner. I abandon myself to you and wait for you, with joyful heart.  Thank you, I praise your name for being the Almighty Father who will love and forgive us no matter what. At all times. Thank you for the confidence in your love which you have given me. Thank you for your mercy. I am receiving it right now.

Lord, ari na naga sugod na. Ikaw na lang bahala sa amon. Kita mo man. Please don't allow it man ay nga this year ma lubong man ko gyapon sa utang. Ga bakas man ko. Tani buligan mo man ko. Paano ko na lang ni be ma buligan pa gid akon pamilya kun indi mo ko pag buligan? You said that I shouldn't worry but instead just call on to you. Then I am calling on to you right now, Lord. Paano mo ko  buligan? Indi na ko gusto mag worry pa. You said that I should just trust in you. I call on to you now because I want to trust in your love and provision. Please have pity on me and my family. There is nothing else that I can do but depend on you. I am done feeling scared Lord. You are there and you will take care of me and my family. Simple man lang amon needs. Of course kaya mo gid na ma provide. Pila ma lang na sa imo manggad kag gahum. Please show us the way. Please teach me the way. I am not going anywhere but here, at the foot of your cross. I offer you this day, that we may never want anything but only your love. I offer you this day that we will be satisfied with nothing else but your love. I offer you this day, that we will need nothing but your love. Make us complete with your love. Shield us with your love. Cover us with your mantle of protection. Make us want you more, and desire you more. I will wait for your miracle Lord. Today. I need it. Please.

God change me

"Never pray for God to change somebody else, without first praying GOD CHANGE ME." -Joel Osteen

God change me, make me better everyday. In this world where people are busy taking photos of themselves and posting on FB, change me and teach me to affect them in a different way. Change me and make me better in the way I deal with others, especially those I do not like at all, those that I despise, those that I have relinquished in my life. Change me God and help me to forgive and free my heart from hatred and resentment and finally forgive those who have hurt me. God change me, and show me the way. I am lost as I am blinded by the sadness in my heart that was caused by people who have misjudged me and not treated me right. There are times when I do not anymore know what else to be but just to hate and hate and hate and plot murder. There are times when I am blinded by envy questioning the very essence of your existence and purpose in my life. God change me. I want to be free from this bondage. I want to feel how it is to be really free. I want to be a better person. I want to be free. I want to love and just think of how to love and not do otherwise. I want to be free and be more peaceful, I want your peace, so I can radiate it with others. I want to be more quiet, to be more calm, to be more resilient. I want to be more like Mary. I want to be obedient to your will, not complaining all the time, not questioning all the time, but rather just staying quiet, silent, peaceful, humble, obedient. God change me, I am a mess. Please do something about me.